From The Archives

My mum had a total clearout and has discovered a once thought to be lost box of nostalgia, containing an array of reports and pictures from school, although the reports themselves do make for interesting reading, the best finds were the Drawings which are actually brilliant, the subject matter is a little simple, but as they say :

'A picture is worth a thousand words'

So tell me, what the hell do these say?

I tell you that is one BADMAN mouse, its so awesome in fact it looks more like some form of Indian rat/zebra hybrid, but at the very least its smiling, so its clearly not aware that its an abomination of nature.

This is Sam the technicolour dog with empty eyes, this one i find a little creepy, but at least his name doesn't make him sound as dead inside as he looks, also it appears I've been having issues with my letter 'a's.

This is the most terrifying of them all all, a greedy cat of death eyeing up a seemingly unaware mouse, i guess i goes to show I already had a good grasp of how nature works even at the ripe age of 5, also im not really sure if the mouse has no tail and 5 legs or the one in the middle being a tail, which is in my defence longer than the rest, which if this was the case would mean i already had a half decent sense of perspective, with the mouse looking over his shoulder (hence the one eye)

                                            'Here is a Zebra' (covered in an array of  coloured paint)

I can't specifically remember ever owning a peacock (let alone 3) but apparently i loved them very much :D

The next one is legendary within my household, and my mother has always refered to my 'masterpiece' that had been cataloged and put into storage, and here it is in all its glory:

The greatest thing about this is not the sheer complexity of my artistic prowess, but the fact that i did this at school, on my own accord, and even got a qualified educator to state EXACTLY what it was, it wasn't just a whale (apparently i was pretty adamant about this at the time) it was a 'Sperm Whale' and to be honest I sincerely doubt any primary school teacher (well in the early 90's at least) ever expects to write the word 'Sperm' on any child's work, especially on a picture, which as my friend Luke so eloquently put it 'that looks like I outlined a dildo'. 
It seems I've always had a half decent knowledge of animals, which is probably the result of mountains of books supplied to me at an early age.

So the moral of the story is: if you want kids to draw entertaining pictures at school and create a talking point later on in life, supply them with ample amounts of literature beforehand.