Things I Find at Work Pt. 3 Nature Addition!

Today I have been Gardening and so we have nature making an appearance :D YAY! My favourite :D
My first Find was this chappy,

and would you believe it? another bloody Toad! 22 years its taken me to see an example of Bufo bufo and in the space of a month I find 2! And s/he's Miniature! Really laid back just chilled out on my hand whilst i took a picture:D AWESOME!

Next on my list is this Badman Magpie checking out his reflection in car windows...

he was making the most awsfull racket ever, and i managed to sneak a little closer

I find magpies get a bad press (my mum despises the things - especially the bald one in the garden, despite me trying to convince her its a monk), I on the other hand admire Corvid's(magpies, crows, ravens ect) despite the plural for crows being a 'murder of crows', I admire their intellect, and the amazing self awareness they (can) exhibit, despite the lack of cortical structures within the brain (these are linked with self awareness and Theory of mind in mammals). I would totally own a Corvid.

Now for some invert's (Yes)

Found these guys when i was digging up the flower beds, they are without a shadow of a doubt beetle larvae but i have no idea what species at all, my first thought was some sort of chafer beetle (think may bugs) but the colouring just isn't right (chafers have white bodies and orange heads) they look nice tho :D

The last think i found was that nature is stronger than metal after hitting a tree root...

 I was down a Tool... well thats it for today :D

My presents :D

After the AES I trundled off to anna's where she has a surprise in store for me, knowing that i love a good bargain, am a serial collector of junk, love old things and am decorating my room she bought me these beauties.

and 

they are both massive and wiegh roughly 5 times the weight of the sun, and whilst i think they are ducking awesome (and consequently think my bird is bloom'n fabulous) what she failed to remember was that i had to 1. carry these home on a 3 hour train journey across perilous ravines and Clapham junction 

2. that after getting off my last train i have to cycle up hill.

effectively she tied a ball and chain to my leg hindering my journey...somewhat , but in a way where i couldn't detest at all (as if the ball in the metaphorical ball and chain was made of cake or filled with tropical fish.

this matter was made all the worse by the fact that it was monsoon season here in Surrey and i had to drag my cargo (and bike) upstream, against the flow of water, fish and fragments of building. In reality i just got a bit wet had some tea and the world was all well agin (and then i watched a BADMAN  programme of submarines being used to smuggle cocaine into America... but that's far too interesting for this blog)

Basically, in short

I love my Girlfriend because she is a massive nob (it's ok i tell her this everyday ) and she gets me cool stuff 

Work Treasures

Ok so ive been doing all manner of jobs recently, all of which occuring within my local leisure centre, where i have worked on and off for 5 years now. I've been a cleaner (almost every morning for the last fortnight), a gardener (if you can call it that), an envelope stuffer (heh heh) and basically everyone's bitch as long as i'm payed for it (i have several other job titles to gain next week).

Anyway whilst i've been doing these glamorously dull jobs i have found all manner of things: goggles, coins and LOADS of bits of metal, but like a fool i threw most of them away. BUT this week i've kept a few of them (inadvertently) and this is what i had contained in my pockets at the end of my week...

An amazing array of items i do believe.
The coin (a 5p) is only one of many i have found all week but i stick the pennies in the appropiately named 'penny jar'
 The 2 random things of metal are giant paper clips that i have bent, primarily to 'hack' into the toilet roll and soap dispensers so i can refill them. Thats recycling, innovation and improvisation at work...literally :D
However coins and paperclips are standard fair in the usual working environment, the last 4 are by far the best finds
Random number fob thing found in the shower... this means someone was naked when they dropped this...0_o looks totally like a house key fob thing and so i have put it in an appropriate place- on my key ring :D.
Below it a turtle shell rubber! found this raking the leaves in the sodding rain today for 2 hours, but this was totally worth all the labour :D ITS A GREEN TURTLE SHELL RUBBER FOR GODSSAKE!

The most random by far is the card proclaiming that the holder of said card is the protector of the crazy frog...

This intrigues me for a number of reasons, the first is that someone has gone to the effort of formulating and creating such a card, not only sinthesising this item (I totally understand making random crap out of cardboard) but laminating it too- now thats effort. I , to my recolection have never laminated anything i have made EVER, regardless of its perceived worth or awesomeness. The last reason this is odd is that crazy frog is in my opinion a dated (and hated) character (famed and flaunted by jamster mobile tones company), and so it strikes me odd, that several years after this meme surfaced, that someone has made (and lost) this card that proclaims thats they protect this annoyingly over used charcter, in of all  places- the main hall of a leisure centre (to be fair if any character (aside from justin beiber) needs protecting it is the crazy frog.
Also its just the right size to fit into a wallet just incase the holder needs to prove his or her reasons to be in the vicinity.
The biggest (and most recent) find is this huge orange... keyring? Its heavy duty and looks like it would stop my keys from sinking... and 'nautica' suggests this is true, although part of me thinks this is a clever and devious hoax designed to trick me into sending my keys to the watery depths where mermaids can try and make sense of them and use them for uses that they were not inteded for... stupid Ariel mythical beings...

im so totally keeping a log of things i find whilst working... it makes my job seem more like piracy:D

Back in 'The DAY'

went into town today, did some charity shop snooping, looking for halloween costume ideas... nothing appeared to spark my interest. This was untill i went into the sweet shop and invested in.. none other than FIZZ WIZ POPPING CANDY!

Got home and shovelled this stuff in my mouth, it's like crack for kids and recovering adults... and then it began to pop, and that must be the trippiest thing ive done all year, i  was almost slightly unnerved, every mature fibre in my body was asking 'what the fuck is this stuff?' whilst my inner 5 year old was giggling and pretending the stck in his hand was a machine gun popping off veloceraptors on ski's.
I now have the an uncontrollable urge to draw with crayons, well apart from the white one. Obviously.
Also when was Fizz Wizz ever strawberry flavour? ive never noticed that - ever! Not that  it tastes like strawberry of course, all i could taste was AWESOME!
i also grabbed a bag of orange sherbert for under a quid, and im sitting here tripping off of it (i basically just downed the whole bag like a god). and you know wat?

I've never been happier :D

also why do my mums home made tomatoes look a little like brains when i cut them open?

And why has a ton of astroturf appeared in my porch?

speaking of randomly dumped crap, i went  to the dump today, man that place has gone down hill, when i was little a trip was an exciting affair, more often than not you would come back with more stuff than you went with, pirates buried treasure there, and im pretty sure Indiana jones went there to pick op the occassional item, but now its all...organised. Its like a giant filing cabinet of crap, you can't go digging for gold either, the men in high viz's shout at you 'excuse me sir- you are not allowed in the containers' and theres me wondering why you would put stairs up then... now it seems all the cool stuff is on ebay and the 'Man' has made dumps less exciting then they used to be. no wonder kid's dont behave these days- they have nothing to look forward to...

Eggs: An Adventure In Their Own Right

This morning started with 'Mum, how do you poach an egg?', joes dad made poached eggs the other week and i was intrigued, alas my mum had no idea, infact addressing the difficulty of doing so 'something to do with vinegar or something'
so like a giddy aunt a cracked some eggs into a pan of boiling water with a dash of vinegar, DISASTER! i ended up with what looked like a pot of boiled semen 'Fuck'
so i gave up and boiled some eggs because i can do that marginally well
,meanwhile i consulted the web, and i found This
its a wery entertainingly written review on ways to poach an egg
AWESOME



yeah i think i'll stick to soft Boiled :D