My presents :D

After the AES I trundled off to anna's where she has a surprise in store for me, knowing that i love a good bargain, am a serial collector of junk, love old things and am decorating my room she bought me these beauties.

and 

they are both massive and wiegh roughly 5 times the weight of the sun, and whilst i think they are ducking awesome (and consequently think my bird is bloom'n fabulous) what she failed to remember was that i had to 1. carry these home on a 3 hour train journey across perilous ravines and Clapham junction 

2. that after getting off my last train i have to cycle up hill.

effectively she tied a ball and chain to my leg hindering my journey...somewhat , but in a way where i couldn't detest at all (as if the ball in the metaphorical ball and chain was made of cake or filled with tropical fish.

this matter was made all the worse by the fact that it was monsoon season here in Surrey and i had to drag my cargo (and bike) upstream, against the flow of water, fish and fragments of building. In reality i just got a bit wet had some tea and the world was all well agin (and then i watched a BADMAN  programme of submarines being used to smuggle cocaine into America... but that's far too interesting for this blog)

Basically, in short

I love my Girlfriend because she is a massive nob (it's ok i tell her this everyday ) and she gets me cool stuff 

Back in 'The DAY'

went into town today, did some charity shop snooping, looking for halloween costume ideas... nothing appeared to spark my interest. This was untill i went into the sweet shop and invested in.. none other than FIZZ WIZ POPPING CANDY!

Got home and shovelled this stuff in my mouth, it's like crack for kids and recovering adults... and then it began to pop, and that must be the trippiest thing ive done all year, i  was almost slightly unnerved, every mature fibre in my body was asking 'what the fuck is this stuff?' whilst my inner 5 year old was giggling and pretending the stck in his hand was a machine gun popping off veloceraptors on ski's.
I now have the an uncontrollable urge to draw with crayons, well apart from the white one. Obviously.
Also when was Fizz Wizz ever strawberry flavour? ive never noticed that - ever! Not that  it tastes like strawberry of course, all i could taste was AWESOME!
i also grabbed a bag of orange sherbert for under a quid, and im sitting here tripping off of it (i basically just downed the whole bag like a god). and you know wat?

I've never been happier :D

also why do my mums home made tomatoes look a little like brains when i cut them open?

And why has a ton of astroturf appeared in my porch?

speaking of randomly dumped crap, i went  to the dump today, man that place has gone down hill, when i was little a trip was an exciting affair, more often than not you would come back with more stuff than you went with, pirates buried treasure there, and im pretty sure Indiana jones went there to pick op the occassional item, but now its all...organised. Its like a giant filing cabinet of crap, you can't go digging for gold either, the men in high viz's shout at you 'excuse me sir- you are not allowed in the containers' and theres me wondering why you would put stairs up then... now it seems all the cool stuff is on ebay and the 'Man' has made dumps less exciting then they used to be. no wonder kid's dont behave these days- they have nothing to look forward to...

Vintage Mechanics

Ok our family has been in the possesion of an epic looking vintage sewing machine for some time, from what i understand its a singer 99k and its from the 40's/50's , needless to say it looks gorgeous. This item stem's from my grandads need to hoard old things that are made of metal and look nice (he is an engineer by trade) and fixed up this beaut and gave it to mum for nearly a year now it has been hidden within the depths of the 'crap room'. However, he recently came down and made sure it works, and now from the corner of the room it has been taunting me.

 I have always wanted a sewing machine, but always assumed i'd have a £100 plastic monstrosity that has more stitches than a trainee athlete and would come with CD roms that teach you everything from scratch, instead i get a manualless lump of cast iron with teeth in.
If anyone asked, i'd say i was afraid that i would break it, but i know full well that even if i lobbed this thing out of a first floor window, it would brush itself off, ask for a new needle and continue working as normal. Vintage things were made to last, and thats why there are so many of them today, and i know for a fact that this thing is more likely to chew my hand off then i am to to break it, i think the most fragile thing on it is the plug...

i mean look at the bottom of this thing... it's double hard

it would look right at home in a butcher shop im sure...

In essence i am terrified of it.

The thing is this it is taunting me-  'use me' it whispers as im making my toast 'we can make beautiful things together' it suggestively hisses, and with halloween coming up soon, a sewing machine would be more than usefull.

I think i need to man up, invest in some needles and bobbins and have a play, i managed to download the origional manual for it today, but the diagrams would look at home on the kypton factor, with statements such as 'lower the feed loop (item 3)' and then giving a diagramatic representation  comparable to where's wally...*sigh*

i mean seriously, what the hell is that?

and still it sits there cackling, openly mocking me

soon my pretty.

Soon